A Nasty Los Angeles Dating Issue. Who Drives?
Dating in Los Angeles presents a very real logistical challenge – it’s the cars, so many cars… Listen up, my single ladies. Your favorite LA matchmaker here has important dating advice for you on the sticky, controversial, clogged-up topic. Who … drives … ? Are you single and professional, dating in Orange County, San Diego or San Francisco? Dating in Denver or Scottsdale? I’m talking to you too.
L.A. Traffic, I say, is a dating issue that presents a mighty fine opportunity for a smart single woman to shine. What? Dating with traffic is a blessing? Yes, offering to creatively negotiate the obstacle of southern California freeways is a beautiful chance to demonstrate YOUR spirit of generosity and an outside-the-box mentality. When a woman demonstrates helpfulness, it puts her in a lovely, favorable light in the eyes of a high-value man. That partnership-oriented man, the Keeper you’re hoping to attract into your life – your offer to do the driving or to meet him midway shows him that you are already being considerate, before you’ve even met him. Doing so gives you a strategic advantage.
I know what you’re thinking. What about the energetic balance between men and women? Shouldn’t The Guy be pursuing? Isn’t it the man’s job to do the driving? Plenty of dating coaches and matchmakers would say so. But let’s rethink this hot-topic dating question. This guy-drives custom developed back in the 50’s when he’s likely the one who had the car and don’t forget – he had to try to impress your parents by picking you up, in a nice, clean, impressive car. Those days? Gone.
Dating Agency Success Story
I found my sister’s guy for her – he was a business owner, putting in long hours building his company. Where did she meet him? At his favorite restaurant (one of hers too) in downtown St. Louis – she’s the one who fought traffic to get there to meet him. They’re married and raised two kids and a bunch of Newfoundland dogs together.
Matchmaking Success Story
One of my female matchmaking clients was intrigued by a man whose profile we viewed together during our initial Zoom Consultation together. She was a hiking/backpacking enthusiast, a beautiful, high-value single woman living and dating in Los Angeles. He’s was single and dating, a mountain man, happily nestled in one of the nearby ski area communities. I set up a hiking/picnic date at a mid-point park for their first date. They’re together today, and that first date would never have happened, had she expected him to make the schlep into the concrete jungle that is Los Angeles. She’s a therapist, doing telehealth work from the guest house on a property they bought together in … that sweet mountain town.
Ladies, I know who your “target” is – it’s a high-value single man who’s sincere, relationship-oriented, and who shares your desire for life-long love and partnership. That man is ready for meaningful, lasting love, and he’s paying attention. A woman he’s interested in and attracted to, she reveals her true nature through how she deals with this issue, the Driving-for-the-date hurdle. The way she manages the hurdle reveals to her high-value Suitor the answer to his critical questions: Is she a Giver or a Taker? Is she coming from a place of entitlement or is she a team player by nature?
Are you a me-me-me person or are you other-oriented? How rigid are you? How big is your heart? A relationship-ready single man positively needs to know who you truly are, and he’s watching for clues. While he might not expect that you’d offer to come his way or split the distance, he will surely notice when you sincerely offer to do so.
The Financial Element in Dating
The Financial Element. Especially if you’re fortunate enough to have a real, live Suitor who’s accomplished, a business owner, a high-level corporate executive or an ambitious entrepreneur, please know that he is in-demand and highly coveted by “all the single ladies.” If he is indeed partnership-ready, he is wondering what it would be like if the two of you ended up together. If he’s a young man, in his twenties/thirties, he’s considering what life might be like down the road, if you two end up married and maybe also managing the complexities of raising kids together. A single man at any age, if his purpose in dating is to find his life-long partner, he needs to know who you are at your core. Could you care about him? How might he expect you to show up when life throws a curve ball? Are you made of partnership material?
Is it your nature to be giving and helpful or … are you more self-centered, more concerned with your convenience than his? How are you likely to behave, when inevitable problems arise in a relationship, in addressing the hurdles that a modern-day partnership presents. The two of you are headed to a dinner party, and whoops… a nice bottle of wine should be brought. Does he have to stop on the way home to find one, or would you be the one to offer to do that? Jimmy fell off the jungle gym at preschool and needs to get to the doctor’s office – who might drop everything to save the day? What kind of a partner might you be for him? Your Suitors are looking for evidence of your true nature.
There is no shortage of attractive, desirable single women out there dating in Los Angeles, and each one of them is looking to partner with a high-quality, relationship-oriented currently single man. Demonstrating helpfulness and thoughtful consideration for what’s happening in his life – that’s the kind of dating behavior that will be noticed and appreciated by the type of man these women are looking to meet and hopefully keep. I say, you be THAT kind of woman, look for opportunities to practice being flexible, accommodating and helpful and you’ll be much more likely to get to that second date, to the fifth date and into an exclusive, committed relationship with lasting potential.
What’s appealing to a single, professional, highly coveted man? A spirit of generosity. The single women who are willing to contribute to easing the pain that big city traffic is – these daters are showing themselves to be far more desirable than the all-about-her type women who aren’t game for and typically never even consider sharing the burden that that drive is.
To attract a high-quality man, develop, refine and practice your spirit of generosity. This dating advice is critical to attracting a quality man who’s responsible, educated, and purposeful, the kind of high-achieving man whom you’d like to have by your side … for decades.
Think about it – imagine you do succeed in partnering with a successful, ambitious, goal-oriented Provider/Protector type man. These single men who are high-earner types, they’re very much in demand, sought-after and relatively hard to lasso. As with economics, supply and demand are at play in dating. High net worth single men are sought after, not just by you, but also by your “competition” – the single ladies who are teachers and nurses, store clerks and facialists, but also by the currently-unattached professional and entrepreneurial women who are big earners themselves.
It’s instinctive, natural and culture-driven for wealthy single men to be favored in the dating arena. What does it take to become successful? What’s required for a man to climb those ladders? It takes hard work, discipline, focus and enormous determination. He’s the kind of guy who makes things happen. He’s got vision and purpose. What type of woman is HE seeking? In interviewing over 50,000 single men these past three decades, I will tell you. That big guy needs a woman who’s flexible, accommodating, caring, supportive and a team player.
Overcoming Travel Challenges: Tips for Successful In-Person Meetings
About the in-person meeting – when there’s distance involved, I like to see both people making a sincere effort to help minimize the obstacle. Meeting mid-point is a smart offer for a woman to make. When a guy is from out of town, for her to meet closer to where he is staying – that is a lovely gesture. Travel is discombobulating as it is, and dating is another complexity while on a business trip – making a gracious offer to meet mid-point or where he is? That makes a lovely impression, as it demonstrates the generosity of spirit he’s hoping for. Doing a bit of research to identify a couple of venue suggestions where he is staying or nearby? Wow, that’s a blessing for him and he will sure notice the kind offer, especially if your offer is sincere. Helpfulness is a huge “element of appeal” and puts you in a beautiful light in a man’s eye. Life is hard… how wonderful it is if we have a partner who’s a creative problem solver and who’s happy to, eager to help ease whatever pain there is at hand. Practice solving problems and making molehills out of mountains while you’re engaged in the dating process. It will serve you well in life.
Especially if the nature of your work is that you can office anywhere, then your current location is much less of a factor than if you were “office bound” or if you have a dental office or a daycare center to manage – If you’re dating to find your future partner, then the big priority is to see if you can find the PERSON you can sync well with – much more important than where he is, especially if you might be able to be flexible as to where you live or work.
It’s cute – prior to marrying my own matchmaker, which ushered me into the dating industry, I was an executive with the Ritz-Carlton Hotel Company, where we were not allowed to use the “P” word – We couldn’t utter the word “problem” – rather, the issue was always referred to as an “opportunity” – and that’s stuck with me.
Be creative, adaptable and generous as to how you handle the opportunity that is driving for a date in a traffic-ridden big city.
