Julie Ferman
My oh my, lots of varying advice on this topic. Here’s an example of when our female client, Linda DID text her date, Rob afterward and here’s what happened…
We had received a very positive post date evaluation from Rob about Linda — he found her to be really warm and engaging, friendly, attractive, bright and impressive — he also mentioned that he didn’t sense that “electricity” that he’s hoping to find in his romantic partner. When I asked him if he was open to having a second date…he hesitated and said, “I’m thinking about it, I’m not sure yet.”
Linda really enjoyed her first date with Rob. Things went well, they talked for two hours over wine, shared an appetizer and lots of laughter together. She couldn’t quite tell if “the romance vibe” was there for her or for him either, and she wasn’t sure just what to do. Her mama had impressed upon her the importance of always saying Thank You, so she took a chance and sent him a sweet, positive text message the next day saying “Rob, thanks so much for last night — loved the stories and the laughter. Call or text anytime. Best. Linda”
And here’s what happened. Rob had checked in with us to let us know that he had a great time and that he was kinda on the fence about a second date. I learned from him a week later that they DID in fact have a second date and a third one was in the works. Matchmakers LOVE to see second and third dates, so naturally I was excited.
I asked Rob what pushed him to the courtship side of the fence and he said, “She’s just so sweet, nice, easy going, warm — she had texted me the day after our first date to say Thanks and we just started a fun text message dialogue which lead to some flirtation and another date…and now another. There’s something special about her — she’s really fun, relaxed, playful. I’m enjoying getting to know her and I’m glad I didn’t miss the chance to see her again.”
In the ongoing debate — should she call or text him after the first date — in this case it was a good idea.
Share your examples with us too. When did reaching out to a guy work out for you? When didn’t it? Guys? What do you think?
