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Is LA Really a Hard Place to Find Love?
Here’s why LA is a GREAT town for dating!
The word on the street is that it’s tough to date in LA. THAT is a myth. I’ve been bringing couples together in Los Angeles since 2001, and during that time, I’ve seen THOUSANDS of stellar relationships ignite and take hold. Yes, even in THIS city.
One thing I’ve discovered, being immersed in the dating culture these past 30 years is that no matter where I am on the planet, single folks in that town say it’s the worst place ever to meet anyone. It’s true, that it’s said… everywhere… which means … it’s not true at all. Let’s bust that myth about LA right here and right NOW.
Here’s why LA is a FINE town for dating, romance and for creating a meaningful relationship.
- HUGE inventory. No one can tell me that there aren’t enough single men or single women in the monster big city of LA. Don’t even try to tell me that…
- Traffic. Yes, traffic can be a PLUS, and here’s how. Since it’s an obstacle and a nuisance, it forces us to plan ahead and I find that second / third dates tend to be longer, more adventurous dates, as heck…if you’re gonna make the effort to see each other, why not make it a longer, more experiential date? I see this happening all the time. I had set up a date for one of my clients this past weekend and when traffic was snarled, threatening to derail the date, they caught each other on the phone and started their date in their cars… asking all of those fun questions, getting to know each other by phone, en route, and when they finally met at the restaurant, 30 minutes late, they had already broken the ice and they dove right in to have a FANTASTIC date. They thanked the traffic for the opportunity to hit the ground running on their actual date. Cute.
- Venues galore. I dare anyone to tell me that dating is dull in LA. With over 1,400 couples on my success story list, I have seen folks fall in love over so many varied activities. Like… over air hockey at the Santa Monica Pier, at the Calabasas Farmers Market, on bikes on the Strand, on a bench at the Serrania Park with dogs, and at the Ventura County Fair. Only boring people get bored….
- Permission to be YOU. With soooo many diverse (and ok… wacky) people running around Los Angeles, we have permission to be who we truly are and to express ourselves authentically. Believe me, I’m from the Midwest, where folks tend to be a bit more homogenous, more concerned about “what people think” – In LA, I hope you’ve figured out that you truly can be who you yearn to be, with no apologies. There’s a lid for every pot, as we say…
- Weather. OK, so except for when fires or mudslides cripple our fair city (which fortunately is rare), we don’t have to plan our social outings around the forecast, as it’s pretty much always dating weather here in LA.
- Dating Experts. Oh my goodness, do we have a plethora of professional dating gurus in LA. For decades, So Cal matchmakers, dating coaches and relationship experts have been developing tools, resources, events and rock solid advice for how to do dating well. Um… start here, with my blog… and if you want more, email me and I’ll turn you on to others.
- Flirting Opportunities. Everywhere, all the time. I know a couple who have been together for 20 years, married with kids. They met while in traffic, on one of our infamous SIG alerts, on the 101 at Tampa. Yep, they were at a dead standstill, and a cute guy in the passenger seat of a gardening truck started flirting with an adorable gal who was driving a cute little white sports car. He said, “Nice car” and she said, “Nice smile” and … that’s how they met. ANYTIME you’re in line, at the grocery store, at the coffee shop, the car wash – perfect opportunity to practice those flirting skills. YOU be the one who has become comfortable chatting up total “strangers” wherever you are in town. YOU be the one who says, “Such fun chatting with you – here’s how to find me” – handing over your calling card, asking for the other person’s card, and YOU be the one who checks in later to say, “Such fun meeting you, how about coffee or a drink?”
Why the Apps Aren’t Working for You in LA
Notice that “download another dating app” didn’t make my list. In a city this size the apps should work beautifully — and yet the singles who land in my office are exhausted by them. Volume is the problem, not the solution: an endless inventory turns everyone into a browser. One more swipe, one perceived flaw, next. Add LA’s geography (nobody’s driving from Silver Lake to Manhattan Beach for a maybe) and you get a lot of matching and very little meeting. After more than two decades of matchmaking in this town I’ll say it plainly: LA’s dating problem isn’t the people — it’s the strategy. Finding real love here takes intention, not volume.
Where People Actually Meet in Los Angeles
Ask the couples on my success-story list where they’d be if they’d waited for an algorithm. They met where connection happens naturally: at singles events and mixers, in interest-based groups — hiking clubs, dance classes, wine tastings, faith communities — through friends who KNEW they were looking (tell yours!), and through a matchmaker’s hand-selected introductions. The pattern behind all of it: put yourself in rooms where conversation is the point, not the swipe.
Finding Love as a Busy LA Professional
If you’re building a career or a company between Santa Monica and Pasadena, your calendar is the real obstacle — not the city. So treat your love life like anything else that matters to you: get intentional. Block genuine time for it, choose quality settings over swiping volume, and consider delegating the search itself. That’s exactly what I do for busy professionals through my personal matchmaking service — the screening, the vetting, the hand-selecting — so the dates that actually reach your calendar are worth your scarce evenings.
Date Spots That Actually Create Connection
Skip the loud dinner-and-a-movie formula. The LA dates my couples still talk about years later are the ones where you DO something together and talk while you’re at it — air hockey on the pier, a farmers market stroll, bikes on the Strand, a park bench with two dogs and two coffees. Settings like these take the pressure off and let personality show up. I keep a running list of Los Angeles date night ideas that create exactly that kind of connection — steal from it freely.
When It’s Time to Try a Matchmaker
If your time is scarce, your privacy matters, or you’re simply done with the apps — that’s my cue. Since 2001 I’ve matched over 1,400 couples by hand-selecting introductions: every person screened, vetted, and actually looking for a relationship rather than an audience. One good introduction beats a hundred matches. For single women in LA there’s a dedicated way to work with me — matchmaking for women in Los Angeles — and the best place to start for everyone is hearing it from the couples themselves.
One good introduction beats a hundred matches.
Julie Ferman
LA is YOUR town. Let me know what YOU love about LA, and why LA is a perfectly wonderful place to be dating and to find a meaningful relationship. I’d love to hear your thoughts.
A private consultation with Julie — after 1,400+ couples, she knows where love hides in this city.
FAQs About Dating in Los Angeles
Is Los Angeles really a hard city to find love?
That’s the myth — and after matching couples here since 2001, I can tell you the opposite is true. LA has one of the deepest pools of interesting, accomplished singles anywhere. What people call “impossible dating” is usually an app problem and a strategy problem, not a city problem.
Where do singles actually meet in LA besides the apps?
Where connection happens naturally: singles events and mixers, interest-based groups — hiking, dance, wine, faith communities — through friends who know you’re looking, and through a matchmaker’s personal introductions. The pattern that works is putting yourself in rooms where conversation is the point.
How can a busy professional find love in Los Angeles?
Treat your love life like anything else that matters: get intentional. Block real time for it, choose quality settings over swiping volume, and consider delegating the search — that’s what a personal matchmaker does: screening, vetting, and hand-selecting, so the dates that reach your calendar are worth it.
Is a matchmaker worth it in Los Angeles?
If your time is scarce, your privacy matters, or you’re simply done with the apps — yes. LA is exactly the market where personal vetting pays off: an enormous singles pool with a lot of noise. I’ve matched 1,400+ couples by hand-selecting introductions. One good introduction beats a hundred matches.
