Mark’s Finally In Love — His Perspective on Dating in LA

JF FACEHow Mark Met His Match
One of my all time favorite clients is finally and so happily…madly in love. Here’s how it happened for Mark…

Mark’s this thoroughly scrumptious 51 year old Adonis – tall, super handsome, a successful award-winning screenwriter, great dad, lovely home, fit, active, a big time brainiac, hysterically funny – and what makes him a REAL Ten vs. a Wanna-Be-Ten is the fact that he’s in great shape emotionally, sincerely seeking a deeply loving partnership. He’s basically the IT GUY – the type of man pretty much all of my female clients want to meet and really want to keep.

Mark has been a dream client from the matchmaker’s perspective – Responsive, communicative, always a complete gentleman, a total prince. He has treated each woman he’s met through our agency with respect, kindness, compassion, sincerity, and honesty. And each woman I introduced to him wanted to see him again…and again…His post-date evaluations were glowing with compliments. He’s had plenty of second dates, but rarely a third date. Something was just not quite there for him, most of the time with the women he was meeting.

Mark and I have been looking for His Girl for a couple of years now. He should be easy to match, right? Well…not really…because the women, even the most fabulous women, have been blowing it with him. Consistently.

Mark’s particularly sensitive to what he calls the Princess Factor — women who he describes as being presumptuous, who are showing up in his eyes to be takers, while the quality he’s most seeking in his future partner is what he calls “a spirit of generosity.”

He’s looking for a giver – someone who cares deeply about other people, and whose lifestyle reflects that. The type of woman whose credit card statements demonstrate a commitment to more than just her personal indulgences. Sure, there might be the occasional Prada or Saks purchase, but we might also find a contribution to NPR or to the animal shelter or to a breast cancer walk for a friend or the political campaign she favors. He describes her as the type of person who takes time to visit her Aunt Susie in the hospital or who would take her neighbor’s dog for a weekend. She’s first and foremost, at her inner core of her being — a giver.

Mark tells me that he has been looking under every stone here in Los Angeles for the type of woman who has the ability to really back up her man, to open her heart to his children, to be by his side and an integral part of his entrepreneurial ventures as well as their travel excursions. The type of woman who is passionately engaged in philanthropic projects that matter to her, and that move and inspire her; the type of woman whose activities and personal commitments make our world a better place. Someone who takes care of herself and who can also be self-less. He says it’s been tough to find, but he always seemed to remain optimistic and never fell into that place of negativity, hopelessness or despair that I see far too often.

He tells me that it’s been unexpectedly difficult to find a woman like this here in Los Angeles, especially one who also clicks with him physically, intellectually, philosophically and emotionally. And he’s really been looking too…

Interestingly, he shared with me that he sometimes feels like it’s almost a curse to be a tall, good looking, successful man. The women who are drawn to him, who have been hovering around him these past few years have typically been fantastic – most of them beautiful and wealthy – he says what comes with those two attributes is – the dreaded “Sense of Entitlement” — He says beautiful, wealthy women, in his experience tend to be the ones who expect to be treated a certain way by the men in her life…and he says this is his very biggest turn-off. He went on to say that if something is expected, it’s not fun or gratifying or meaningful for him to provide it, and he finds himself drifting away from this type of woman.

Mark has been open to meeting a variety of women – he’s really trusted me over the course of the time we’ve worked together. He’s stretched on issues like height, distance, kids preferences, religious preferences, education level, ethnicity, background, even body type and hairstyle preferences – he’s been a real sport, and it’s been so much fun for me to introduce him to a dozen or so of my most desirable, thoroughly together female clients.

He wrote to me this morning about how happy he is to have settled into his new relationship. She’s the thirteenth woman I introduced him to here at  Good thing he never gave up, huh? Finally the magic he’s been hoping to find seems to be present and unfolding so beautifully. They’ve been together for six weeks now.

This morning he wrote, “I am happily off the market. Please remind your clients to never give up, as “it” really does happen — meeting someone you feel like you were meant to be with. I think about all the dates I’ve been on these past two years, and what a needle in a haystack kind of search it’s been – and how exceedingly rare real chemistry is! You can be on a date with someone who is attractive and available and successful and smart and you like each other just fine, but there’s no magic, or chemistry — Recognition is a word I like — When you meet the right person at the right time, and it feels vaguely as if you were friends in a former life, and have no memory of it, but resuming the conversation is instant and effortless… I have another theory, too — that we spend too much time looking for a mirror image of ourselves, and not enough time looking for our compliment — someone who isn’t a mirror image, but just lowers your blood pressure… and makes you have a better day…”

I loved the way he said that. Hoping Mark’s story inspires you all to keep the faith, to keep giving to each other all along the way into the loving partnership that will surely be in your future. And let’s all take time to express our sincere thanks to all of the lovely people who have enriched our lives…

Giving…always circles back.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!!

Julie Ferman

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