We fall in love with each other the first time around. It’s almost like “it” happens to us. Remember that butterfly feeling in the stomach? That only happens with brand new love. After the honeymoon phase passes, whether love exists for two people, is all about choice. Are you choosing to engage your heart? When your honey walks past you in the hallway, do you catch his eye with a twinkle in yours? That’s a choice you get to make every day, lots of times each day. Are you self-absorbed or other-oriented in the way you’re being toward your sweetie? That’s where the distinctions lie.
I remember clearly a time when I was feeling exhausted, so not sexy, not very much in love. It was not long after the birth of our second child, I had gained a LOT of weight, and I felt like a cow…. I could feel that my husband and I were a bit out of synch with each other and I knew that we were overdue for a lovemaking session. Previously in my life I tended to wait to initiate or to say Yes to sex, based on how I was feeling at the moment. There were plenty of green lights and some red lights too, as I’d evolved into a rather selfish lover – “It” happened pretty much when I felt that “in love feeing” coupled with physical desire.
